no guts no glory: the new images of boston market that will haunt me
Recently, my brother and I went out to lunch at Boston Market. As we walked through the parking lot filled with cars sporting bumper stickers like "Murray State Alumni" (wtf is murray state?) and "Midwives: the time has come again," we fondly remembered the glory days of Boston Market. The days when they had to break out the line organizer during a busy lunch. The days when a tired housewife would secretly cater her family's thanksgiving meal with BM's piping hot meats and sides. The days when they served ham. How long ago those days were. Nowadays, BM is a breeding ground for social retards. Everywhere we turned we encountered awkward situations. The pudgy, white register girl (who was probably the result of playing too much magic the gathering and watching too much gilmore girls) was shrilly YELLING about freshly baked cookies at her mexican coworker. There was also the chef who rang us up but was so consumed with unknotting his apron (tied a little too close to his penis) and giggling. Let's not forget about the depressed men sulking over their corn bread (who probably worked over at bull's and bear's all men's gym). great name for a bath house. i ate my mashed potato sides and LEFT that mother fucking place. the glory days are long gone. A trip to boston market now will only leave you feeling uncomfortable, slighty nauseated, and praying you are not as socially retarded as the others.
posted by Destructive Monster @ 4:41 PM
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